...

it has been fun lately, with her presence. a new flesh and blood for me to play with, to share things with, and to hug and kiss. but what is this strange feeling that i had lately?

Have i not been able to let go of the past?


I dreamt of "her", again and again, and the nightmares goes on. It robs me of my ability to think properly during the daylight, and or when i am around my girlfriend. "She" hurts me once, and this thing keeps going on and on and on...

God, please help me when nobody else can...

one last cry

"One Last Cry"
My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands
Standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone
Wishing all my feelings was gone
I gave my best to you
Nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry
Before I leave it all behind
I gotta put you out of my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I'm down to my last cry
------------------------------------------

it has been 1 months since the incident, but i keep getting back to square one.

Like the words suggest, i need to give it up, but why crying is always the hardest thing for me to do.
It is so easy to get myself hurt, but why i cannot let it go and moved on.

I need to get up, stop living in this imagery world of my own. i need to be strong. but why cant i.

Living each day with this burden in my head is proven too much for me. i need to seek a help. somewhere, somehow. or else...

and now i start to sounds like a sissy.. i am a man for christ's sake..